7 days in...

(First Published August 16th 2019)

Wales was fabulous. The journey there could have been better.  A six hour slog in horrible driving conditions plus lots of stop & start on the M42 and M6 (have I learnt nothing from traffic reports on Radio 2 over the years!) It was at one such stop in the traffic on the M6 that the need to have a wee came over me. These days when I need to go I NEED to go. Too much delay and I start to feel quite ill. Any further delay… well that hasn’t happened yet but I imagine it wouldn’t end well! We were in the outside lane and the traffic was hardly moving. The nearest services were 12 miles away. At normal speed this could be do-able but at 2 miles per hour some serious action was needed. Fortunately the traffic started to move just enough for me to bully my way across the traffic into one of the yellow emergency stop zones on the hard shoulder. Also, fortunately there was a large bush at the side of the motorway. So equilibrium was restored, my dignity was intact and the blushes of my family spared. The only downside was that my temperature felt as though it had gone through the roof and I was dripping with sweat. The feeling didn’t last long and we were soon driving through the Welsh hills and mountains.

On Monday we spent a few hours in Aberdyfi at the bottom of Snowdonia National Park and, for the first time in a few days, had a healthy mobile signal. Messages came pinging through plus a call for some upcoming work. Delicious irony has me working at the local hospice for the next couple of weeks. To be honest it’s ideal as it’s only a mile from home and I’m only feeding a maximum of 20 people. Cheffing in the larger schools, where numbers can be 1500 for lunch and throwing around 25kg bags of potatoes, flour, rice and sugar is normal, will have to take a back seat for a while. 

The next leg of our break was a drive across the country to spend a few days with the in-laws in North Yorkshire. Although I am meant to be drinking plenty of fluids, on this occasion I chose not to, not wanting a repeat of the M6 episode. The five and a bit hour journey went by incident free with just a couple of stops at service stations.

It was good to see the in-laws. This was the first time I had seen anyone who was aware of my news and there was no awkwardness or skirting around the issue. My Father in-law was a little emotional and was happy to correct me when I suggested that there was no reason to be upset by informing me not to tell him how he should feel. Spot on!

Having a bit of a break has given me plenty of time to do some casual internet browsing. My surgeon suggested that I shouldn’t spend time researching my illness online as it doesn’t come over well and doesn’t always paint an accurate picture. With a cheery smile I assured him that of course I would and I have. I’m not one for grim speculation so take little notice of success rates etc. etc. but the details of the actual procedures have been interesting. My condition is known as bladder carcinoma in situ. My expected treatment is a radical cystectomy followed by bladder reconstruction. The recovery period is a bit of a long drawn out affair and I find it slightly ironic that, having become an expert in passing water in recent months, once my new bladder is bedded in I will have to learn how to wee all over again. I do have more fun facts but I don’t want to peak too early.

I am still not sleeping well but my mental health still seems to be in pretty good nick. Plenty of positivity mixed with some graveyard humour is working so far.